Today

Heya

Ok so basically today has been very long. I woke up late and Dad screamed at me for being late. He's another reason I cant come out by the way, he's *so* homophobic. Loads of lessons, bad lunch, and tiring cornet lesson. then got changed for CCF and missed dinner because I had 8 studys to do. I got one done. A four page essay. Drama. i have loads due tomorrow. :S

CCF - Kayaking. Was fun. Unfortunately its confusing. Not the kayaking. The CCF. Maybe its because Im an only child, but Im *very* clingy. Im always hugging people, including those that I barely know. One boy said to me today : "Nice knowing you for 5 minutes, and feeling you for about the same amount of time"... which sums it up adequately, but is not quite as dodgy as it sounds. I also have some very gay jokes with one of my friends. Jokes about us being together. I love her, but only as a friend, and its the same with her. Im scared that if I come out then that will stop, as will the fact that I jump on most of my friends. I go to an all girls school, of course that happens! Its not gay its just there.

Theres also this guy, a few yeas above me. I know his secrets he knows mine. We chat online and over the phone all the time, and I often sit chatting to him in my underwear on webcam. Its slutty I know, but hes so nice that its a confident boost. So all good right? Except he wants nothing to do with me when I see him at CCF. He bloody ran away from me today. So what to do eh?

So behind on work, but am trying to catch up. Parents being annoying.

Chat soon
Sandy
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